A message to current and potential Stringer University students

Professors Niki and Corey (as well as Teaching Assistant Charlotte and Lab Monkey Peter) would like to formally invite Matt to submit an application to enroll in Stringer University for the Taylor Family Reunion.  We understand he tried to buy his way into the university by bestowing a gorgeous ring upon a current student, but a coveted seat in the Class of 2012/13 TFR degree program CANNOT be bought.

In order to matriculate, Matt must submit an essay of AT LEAST two entire sentences on one or more of the following topics:

• How beautiful Erin is
• What skills he would bring to a potential TFR talent show
• The quadratic formula
• Why a Crimson Tide mascot is depicted as an elephant

The due date for the assignment is up to Matt.  The sooner he wants to enroll, the sooner he should submit his admissions essay.  Said essay may be emailed to either professor with the understanding that the responses will of course be shared on the blog.

Very truly yours,
THE STRINGER UNIVERSITY FACULTY